Sunday, August 7, 2011

August 6, 2011

Holy Matrimony
Pamela Virginia Bieranoski and Matthew John Derby

Matt and Pam: what a great day! There was snow on the ground when we began planning. And now the warm days of midsummer have arrived. And I do want to say for myself personally and I know for all those who are participating today and sharing the day as witnesses, a congregation of family and friends—thank you. Thank you for what is the honor, truly, to be a part of this. And thank you also and even more for being the people that you are. Two gifted young people of intelligence and good humor and wonderful friendship, sharing a kind and gentle spirit, gracious and engaging. Thank you for being the people that you are—and for finding each other! Which is certainly a great pleasure and a blessing for all of us. It is great to know you each as individuals, and even more wonderful to know you together.

It is fun, very enjoyable, as two people get married, to celebrate who you are and what you are for each other—and that is of course very appropriate. To be thankful for the joy that you bring to one another, for love and romance, for the sense of happiness which touches your lives now and which I and we all pray will continue all the days to come.

But I do want to say in the midst of that celebration, simply to point out, that we hear in the language of this service of Holy Matrimony, in the prayers we pray together, in the solemn vows you will exchange, in the words of Holy Scripture, in this great offering of sacred music which you and Peter and Alastair and the Schola have prepared for us, a high seriousness--and it is important just for this moment to take a breath and to recognize that in this moment you two are undertaking what can only be described as an awesome responsibility.

Sometimes at weddings I like to tell the story of Moses in the Wilderness, as he comes to the Burning Bush, and as the great voice booms out, “Take off your shoes, Moses, take off your shoes: for the ground on which you stand is holy ground.” And I say, we should all take off our shoes. B
ecause this is just like that moment for Moses: a turning point, a new beginning. Moses is called to a new vocation, to assume responsibility as God’s Agent, to be the one through whom God will work to accomplish his purposes. And that’s what this moment is for you, and for all of us here today. A moment of new vocation, Matt and Pam, to assume responsibility, to be a new person, husband and wife, through whom God will work. Which is why we call marriage a sacrament. Beginning now, and then continuing this evening and tomorrow and in all the years to come. In ways we can’t even begin to imagine.

In the story of Creation in the first chapter of Genesis we read, “Then God said, “let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sear, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

A sacrament is an outward and visible sign of an inward, spiritual grace. The image of God. Which is what now you are for us. The active present-time manifestation of Christ in the world. And as husband and wife, you become sacrament. You become a visible sign of God’s presence.

He is doing now and is going to do great and wonderful things in your life together and through your life together, to bless others, to forgive, to heal, to renew. It will be a great adventure, as he works in you and through you. Fun sometimes, sometimes challenging. But in it all, a calling, a high and serious vocation: and one I truly believe you have already begun, and that you will continue in a wonderful spirit all the days of your life.

And now friends, as Matt and Pam come forward to exchange the vows that will make them husband and wife, may we all pause in a moment of prayer for them, and may be open our own lives at this moment that we also may share in this time of God’s richest blessing.


Expressjodi said...

Great expectations

Life is full of surprises, particularly if you are a newly - wed . Expressjodi you a glimpse into the future and tells how to be prepared to face married life

Love is all about romance whereas marriage is a lot about responsibility. When two different individuals from different backgrounds live together, differences of opinion on things like spending habits, career, having and raising a baby, sharing household responsibilities etc, are bound to crop up, the key is to broaden your outlook and accept all the changes that marriage brings, and to remember that marriage is a momentous change for you and your spouse. And, fear not, over a period of time, you will find a way to make it work.


With marriage comes a whole lot of responsibility. "From the time you ger married, the decisions you make will not be yours alone, but your partner's as well. This is because your choices will impact both of you. But this doesn't mean that you're tied to a ball and chain. "It only means you have a companion with you for life. In fact, in your capacity as a spouse, you become your partner's caretaker, friend, confidante and even punching bag etc.


Arguments over money are bound to happen, so be prepared for it. And unless you establish some ground rules for dealing with financial issues, you will continue to have these arguments. Bear in mind that you are now a part of a unit, and no longer flying solo.

In - laws or outlaws?

if you thought that marriage is all about sharing your life with your significant other, think again, and this time, factor in your in - laws into the equation. When you're used to a particular lifestyle, moving in with your in - laws can be a rude shock. You will be required to make changes in your daily routine. Like waking up a little earlier to help around the house or rescheduling your plans on weekends or even modifying some of your eating habits. these might seem like an additional burden, particularly if you are a working woman. Remember to keep an open mind when it comes to handling your in - laws. They may be rigid in their ways, but there is always a way to work out a compromise.

Sharing space

Marriage involves sharing everything - whether it is sadness or glad tidings, chores or finance, which can be a difficult task. This is why marriage necessitates an equal contribution from both side. " Sharing is absolutely essential for a happy marriage,. Besides making it easier to run the show, it also brings you closer to your partner, and cement a bond in a way that only experience can.
Differnces of opinion

Shaadi brings two different individuals together, as well as two sets of arguments for everything. Remember that your husband is as new to the marriage and the relationship as you, and he is facing the same issue for the first time as well.Irrespective of the nature of the relationship, any two people are bound to have differences of opinion at some point of time, It is how you handle these differences that mtters. The best antidote for deviant interest lies in adapting to the situation. "Be carteful not to retaliate for the sake of it,"

Planning for the future

As a single independent working woman, you may be used to your lifestyle, going on holidays or splurging on the latest pair of Jimmy Choos. But married life is a journey and you need to plan carefully to get to your destination. "Planning is the key. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page as far as long - term goal are concerned," "Whether or not you plan to have a baby or deciding on investments for the future and are thing that you should discuss in advbance, if you want to avoid unpleasant surprises in you married life,"

Expressjodi said...

Brahmin Shaadi
Historically, the Brahmins in india were divided into two major groups based on geographical origin of the people. The Brahmin groups that lived to the north of the vindhyas were referred to as Dravida Brahmins. Each group was further divided into five sections according to the regions of their settlement.

The Sagaai or the engagement ceremony symbolises commitment However, the South Indian Brahmin do not lay stress on the presence of bride and the groom in their Sagaai, rather it focuses on commitment between the parents of the groom and the bride. 'Latto' i.e., 'engagement plate' Which consist of coconut, flowers, turmeric, betel leaves and betel nuts hold more importance, in their engagement ceremony. The Maithil Brahmin bride of bihar makes her wedding affair stand apart by receiving the blessing from the Dhobi's (washerman's) wife - a compulsory tradition in the Bihari Brahmin wedding.

In Haldi ceremony turmeric powder is mixed with milk, almond oil and sandalwood and applied to the bride and the groom. In Kashmiri Pandit this ceremony has a twist becuase cold, white yoghurt is poured on the bride as an alternative to haldi. ritual is followed by a special custom called Shankha (shell) Paula (coral) in bengali Brahmins, where seven married women embellish the bride's hand with red and white bangles, the shell is supposed to calm the bride and the coral is believed to
be beneficial for health. Mehndi is also applied on every bride's hands during the Mehndi ceremony. However, a Bengali Brahmin bride applies alta (red dye).

After the ceremonious arrival of the groom, the garlands are exchanged between the groom and the bride, while the priests chant mantras. Jaimala is the symbol of unifying two souls into one. But in tamil nadu, "Oonjal", a unique jaimala ceremony is performed and could be best decribed as a tug of war. In this ceremony, the women sing songs to encourage the bride and groom to exchange the garlands while the uncles persuade the soon to be couple not to Exchange the garlands.Before the ceremony of jaimala, the bride makes a majestic entry in Bengali weddings.

Mangal Phere
Fire is considered the most pious element in the Brahmin weddings and seven circles around that fire holds the seven promises that the nuptial couple make to each other amidst the Vedic mantras. The Brahmin wedding is deemed incomplete without the seven rounds around the sacred fire. Unlike other Brahmin weddings, in Gujarati weddings only four pheras are taken which are called the mangalpheras where the pheras represent four basic human goals of Dharma, Artha, Kama, and Miksha (religious, moral, prosperity and salvation). Likewise in Malayalee Brahmin weddings, pheras are taken only thrice.

Post wedding ceremony vidaai
After pheras, the bride's family and friend bid her teary vidaai (farewell). The Kashmiri pundits make their vidaai even more special. their charming ritual, "roth khabar" is performed on a saturday or tuesday after the wedding. In Roth
khabar, the bride's parents send a roth (bread decorated with nuts) to their son - in - law's family. But the bride accompanies She stay with her parents and returns only when someone from in laws comes to fetch her back.

Griha pravesh
The new bride is greeted by her mother - in - law with Arti and tilak. The bride, who is regarded as the Goddess laxmi, enters the groom's house after the groom's house after kicking rice - filled pot. In Kannada Brahmin marriages, the groom changes the name of his wife in the name change ceremony where he decides a name for his wife and inscribes it on a plate containing rice with a ring. In Bihar, a very strange ritual is performs at the groom's place.